It’s always a true pleasure when my period is brought up in the presence of a guy. If their uncomfortable facial expressions weren’t funny enough, the stuff that comes out of their mouths is pure comedic gold. 

Starting off this list is a rather painful misconception that at least 3 guys on separate occasions have said to me:

“Pads stick directly to our Vaginas”

If this were true, I wouldn’t have to pay $40 to get a Brazilian wax. I don’t which medieval torture farm these raised on, but it clrealy had some interesting ideas about how pads are supposed to work. And it begs the question: if pads stuck directly to our vaginas, where would the blood go? Apparently to these men, blood builds up on top of the pad and is released all at once when removed. Maybe it is us women who have been using pads wrong all along. 

Second on this list, is an alarming statement that tells me men don’t understand how vaginas work.

“We have to take out our tampons in order to pee”

Within this statement, is a complete lack of understanding that our excretory and reproductive systems are different. And I understand that men have one hole with various functions, but women don’t. If that were true, we’d get yeast infections on the daily and life would be a lot more painful. 

The next statement would be really cool if it were a thing that could actually be done. 

“We can use kegel exercises to start and stop our period on command”

Imagine the power of being able to choose when you bleed. Wanna wear white? No problem, just stop your flow for a few hours. Going swimming? Don’t need tampons, do a kegel. Possibly a little dangerous because if I could stop my period, I might not ever voluntarily start it again. 

Statement number four is a little bit of a sticky situation.

“Congealed blood is what holds in tampons- like glue!”

Why would women ever buy glue, if we produce it ourselves. That’s right coming to the market is my own personal brand of multipurpose adhesive that is all natural and animal friendly. Don’t use it in the ocean, however, a shark might come after you. Warning to everyone who wants to have sex during their periods. You might end up in a Grey’s Anatomy plotline. 

Last and possibly least, we have a comment that was made by a biology major. 

“We can use a mirror to see inside our vaginas and peak in at our Uterus”

I don’t know where to begin. This man was studying human anatomy and thought that I could visually see my insides, to the point where I could measure my period - like if I had a tablespoon of blood left or not. WOW. I really could have used that magic ability to stop myself from ruining nice pairs of underwear. 

These are just a handful of things I have heard grown educated men say with confidence. I would say it’s a joke, but it’s a little too alarming to be funny. Reproductive education is shit. And I’m just talking about female education, male too. I know the vas deferens is a thing that exists, but I have no clue what it does. Same thing with a prostate. This lack of knowledge is dangerous and has real consequences. I know I wouldn’t feel safe having sex with someone who thinks those things. We need to stop being scared to talk about sex and our periods because, at the end of the day, it empowers us when we do. 

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With love,

Tay